what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
