We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
