They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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