peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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