this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
