Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
