Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All the doctor said was why
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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