I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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