Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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