I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
