i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
