Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
