if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
