i jhust puked up my retainher.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
