He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
