she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
