you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
