dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
