yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
