I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
