I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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