Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
