I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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