Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
