when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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