you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
