Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
