I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
