no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
