Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
