Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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