U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
