White coat. Heels.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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