The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
