You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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