Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
