Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The power of my boobs compel you
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