Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
