dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just threw up on my dentist
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
