Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
