ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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