And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
