Its about making memories worth repressing
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
