i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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