...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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