Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
