Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
