All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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