So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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