apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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